17 more days

And the count down continues.

So lately I've been trying to get a last lesson for riding but it keeps failing on me some how and some way. Well this is the third attempt since this whole week has been sort of shitty to me. Rain and stuff. Well I'm feeling the confidence going slowly with each cancellation and thinking I'll never get to go before I leave.

Well it's a Saturday here and at the moment the sun is trying it's hardest to peak out from within the over cast clouds.

At this moment I have found my boots and helmet, after great search and rescue, and I will be severely pissed if the weather ruins it again for me because I nearly had a heart attack looking for my old equipment.

It's 7:40 am now and I'm waiting for my grandfather to come back so he can take me, saying that I can still go.

I still have to get dressed really. Maybe this lethargic mood is summoned from the fact that I'm still waiting for a call saying I can't go. Thinking that if I get up and actually get ready before the set time that I will have gotten prepared for nothing. So I sit here and type to all of you while waiting for the bad news to ruin the rest of my weekend. But that's the way I am, pessemesstic to the extreme. If I feel that failure is coming upon me or people I know I get the sense that nothing I do can change the fact of failure engulfing me in a tidal wave of misery.

Wow, I'm really sounding emo...no offence to the words. But I notice when I'm sad I use huge ass words that no one can understand. Heh maybe if I'm depressed all the time I could pass math! Haha what a thought.

Washed Rave last night since he decided to lay in a hill of red ants and they decided to cast revenge on him.

Yesterday I was at a funeral so I didn't go to school and let me tell you; I almost started to cry. I actually had to look up at the ceiling to hold it together and then I just covered my face with my hair briefly before thinking it was disrespectful and pulled it away from my face. I get pretty emotional at funerals; even if I didn't truly know the person, just briefly met them.

Anyways before we went to the funeral we had to go to an eye appointment for my brother and then we had time to kill so we went to A & W for lunch with my cousin, aunt, mom and brother before going to the mall. My mom gave me her cell and let us wander through the shittiest mall I have ever been in. NO MUSIC STORE! I can't believe it. They had tons of freakin' girly girl stores but no stores to satisfy my personality. So we found a pet store, looked at Haltis for Raven and then found a book store where I found The Heroin Diaries! I got it and I'm so happy I got it. The album was good and I had seen the book before so this time I got it. It's about Nikki Sixx and the diary and journal entries he had written from one year in the 80's. It's pretty amazing of a read you should pick it up some time.

Well I think I've gone on long enough since it's 7:50 am, around ten minutes of typing. So I better go wait for the call that will dampen my mood this weekend and kill my spirits.

~Exxy~