Two days left in this town

On Friday my dad's coming all the way here to pick me up along with some stuff. Tomorrow I'm going to have to lock myself into my room and pack clothes and anything else I will need or want right away. Then I'll just pack and stow away the rest in a corner until my room is complete and I can come and get it.

It's all happening so fast. I went into town tonight and we went by the school. I felt myself watching it as I went by and thinking again that this wasn't reality and that I'd suddenly wake up in class while one of our math teachers was prepping us for a math test. That right now as I type that tomorrow I'll wake up and my alarm will go off and I'll get up. I'd get dressed, do my hair and makeup, wait for my bus at the end of the drive way, and another day of school will begin. That I'd walk down the halls and see people I know and go about my day as usual.

But that's not going to happen. Tomorrow will be like the last few days for me:
Get up, eat something, lounge around the house, and pack things.

Can anyone stop time because I think I could use a time stopper so I can just take everything in. Maybe even go back a few days, or weeks, or years. Then just stop the time. It's as if yesterday I was walking into the big high school staring nervously at all the lockers and people. Just yesterday I was doing Geography and Phys. Ed. Just yesterday I was meeting people I never expected to change my life as they have. And today I've graduated, I'm moving, I have great friends, and I just hope I'll stay in contact with them over the years, if just a few.

Can someone say too soon? It's too soon for all of this. Heh, I remember when I was in grade nine and I had this stupid hair cut that was such a mistake. I wore colourful clothing and no make up at all. I was shy and reserved from many people. Now I wear almost all black, wearing eyeliner, I've dyed my hair god knows how many times, and I've learned the way of straight hair. I'm not as shy as before and I don't reserve myself as much. So I should say high school has helped me become who I am today; high school and good friends...scratch that GREAT friends.

So I write this with a heavy heart as I think of how much I'm going to miss the good days. Going way back, missing the days of swings with Phil, missing the days of going around town, missing the days of thinking when will summer be here, missing the days of going to Timmies, missing the days of sleep overs and WoW nights. I'm going to miss it all.

This is Exxy and I'm going to finish this up before I start to cry.

~Exxy~

Graduation

Today was graduation day for the class of 2010 at my school. The ceremony wasn't as long as I thought it would be. I wasn't really into going at first but once I was there I got into it and I wished it could have lasted longer now. All the people I saw today I may never see again.

For four years I counted down the days til I was free from high school....now I'd turn back all four years just to relive those days. I'm going to miss them.

I almost started to cry today, I don't know if it was from the lethargic feeling I was in or really the fact that I was becoming emotional.

So in a few days I'll be moving out and starting a new life in a new place. But this time I'll be a young adult trying to find my place in this world. It all feels too good to be really true. But when I held that folder in my hand and walked down that stage back to my seat, oh god i'm starting to cry now, it all started to feel real.

I talked to Cyphale today and I'm thinking now, when will I see her physically again? I know I'll see her on WoW but when will we get together and hang out again? Tonight may be the last time I see her for a while now.

Anyways I just wanted to post something about the graduation, there's nothing really important happening tonight except me getting sleep and packing tomorrow, getting ready for Friday.

~Exxy~

2 days left

Hello all, just two more days til graduation. I'm not really excited though; just another event planned to give us our proof of passing high school but they draw it out to the point you want to just ninja out of there. Which I can't do since that would be "Disrespectful to my peers" Well I really don't care. I didn't even know half of them, and they probably didn't know who I was.

I'm in a really dark mood at the moment, I don't know when it will pass to tell the truth. They come and go at times.

I'm moving in a few days, this week to be exact. I'm starting a new life and I don't' even think I'm ready for the change that's about to take place. I feel this sick feeling in the pit of my chest and it's bothering me severely. I fear I'll never find my place in this world. I'm so indecisive about what I want to do after high school that at the moment I don't even care. I really have no care left in me really. I feel blank at times.

A few minutes ago I felt like I was becoming anti-social, like I didn't want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to be left alone. I'm not too bad at the moment since I'm talking to someone but before that I just didn't even want to bother with anyone. Mostly with ppl I know online.


Well I think that's all I feel up to typing about. I'll be around.

~Exxy~

4 More Days

Hello all, not in much a good mood anymore. Finished exams today so I have four days to blow until Graduation. I don't want to go; why should I? I have no future anymore, nothing I want to chase after high school. I already tried to find something I like but each time I feel I'm shot down each time, so I'm left with nothing.

I'm tired right now, I have to get up early, and I'm just not in a great mood at the moment, I'm feeling it come back. The feeling of sinking and falling; nothing's going right anymore....


~Exxy~

5 More Days!

First exams are done now and two more to go on Friday. Finally Grad will go by and we'll be left to doing our own things for the summer. I'm moving away, friends are doing their own thing, family's planning stuff while I'm gone.

Recently I've thought of an idea for Phil and I to do; create a bucket list.

For all those people out there that have no clue what a bucket list is here's the simple answer: Its a list of things to do before we die. So far we have 32 things on the list, we want 100.

Many of it will probably never come true but hopefully at least some are checked off before too long.


Well nothing more to say really but to all those people out their graduating or have already graduated in the year 2010, congratulations and hope for the best for you and your new life; no matter how exciting or how plain it may end up being.

Don't look back, if you can, and walk forward with a new view on life. Hey we're a few years to being adults; we're young adults now but soon we'll be adults.

Anyways I'm probably going home shortly so this post will end here.

~Exxy~

6 More Days!

I'm home all day today seeing as I have no exam today. But I have one tomorrow, fml. It's math too...fml2

So i'm bored because I've got nothing to do really; everyone I know is busy and I'm in the middle of no where so I can't really walk into town; it'd be like a hike. And Phil i'll come out this weekend, ignore me from yesterday I was tired when I got home and I snapped at basically everyone I saw, my brother, my mother....yeah that's about it.

Anways that is all for today.


~Exxy~

P.S. Since my comment box doesn't work if you want to comment just post in my facebook inbox the title of the blog and what you wanted to say. This will only be possible to ppl that know me but i'll put the link up next time. Or go to my Excaliburia blog and it's there in the newest or second newest blog post.

7 More Days! And Exam Week

Yes only about a week left of school before we're free! Finally; I can't even remember how long I've been waiting and wishing it would end faster. But that day has come. This week will be full of exams, aka the 23rd and 25th for me. Then we all have to head back to school on the 29th to graduate and after that at any day I will be loading my things up and leaving.

So what am I gonna do with these few days? Will I'll most likely just come home after exams and then just lay around at home until graduation night, except for the 28th i have something planned that day. So Cyphile if you read this it's alright for the 23rd, i'll just go home after my exam; it's not you, if you want to know what pm me on Facebook.


Anyways I'm going to go wait for the bus to show up and then go outside.


~Exxy~